Friday, January 15, 2010

The "Love Makes You Crazy" Giveaway

Sometimes love drives us to distraction. It can make us do and say things we would not ordinarily think of doing and saying. We become obsessive, depressive, aggravated and infuriated. Historically and literarily, love has started wars (Paris and Helen of Troy), brought down governments (Lola Montez and Ludwig II of Bavaria) and churches (Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn and the Protestant Reformation), and has even lead to suicide (Romeo and Juliet). And let us not forget the effect that Thomas Seymour had on Queen Dowager Catherine Parr (Henry VIII’s 6th wife) and on the Princess Elizabeth at age thirteen. Young Bess and her trusted servants almost lost her heads over that obsession (read my novel, VIRGIN, for the full story).

Dante Alighieri’s little volume Vita Nuova (musings and poetry about his affair of the heart with the lovely Beatrice published in 1293) declared: “Love's power is insane!” I couldn’t agree with him more. Here’s my story of going crazy for love.

When I was in my twenties, living in the upper Westside of New York, I ran off to Jamaica with a handsome, charismatic neighbor – a man I had known for exactly three days. After several blissful days in that tropical paradise, drinking, dancing, sunning, swimming and falling in gooey-eyed love, the guy pushed me to arms length, looked me in face and said, “You could turn out to be another Donna.” This was apparently his ex-wife, who had up-and-left-him one day, and whom he now hated. For the next week this man refused to speak to me! It occurred to me that he might be crazy, but I was stuck in Jamaica with him (“Ja, Mon!”) and despite his lunacy (or maybe because it was catching, I still thought I was in love with him.

When he dumped me off at my apartment I had somehow convinced myself that our affair was still happening. In the next week, unable to eat or sleep or work, and COMPLETELY obsessed, I called his office a dozen times a day (today we’d call that stalking!). I stayed glued to my front window to catch glimpses of him walking his dog past my door. But he never stopped by, and he never ever called.

Slowly I came to my senses and went on with my life. Three years later, by a ridiculous coincidence, I met up with “Donna” and we became friends. She confirmed what I’d suspected. The man was certifiable. In fact, she told me that he’d recently been arrested as a sniper!

So this week’s forum asks you to share the craziest or most life-changing thing you’ve ever done for love. It doesn’t have to be a radical obsession like mine was. It might be a big move to be with someone you just couldn’t live without. Or hiring a skywriting plane to tell your sweetheart how you felt. Or getting married underwater. And give me your email address. You can play the Love Games from anywhere in the world.


  1. Although I love a romantic story I'm a bit more pragmatic in my own life however...

    I was brought up in the UK. When I didn't get into the University I wanted I took a gap year.

    Several years later,foreign boyfriend in tow, I decided to reapply. I went through the whole rigmarole and eventually got an interview at one of the more prestigious Universities. Somehow I impressed them at the interview and was given an unconditional place.
    My boyfriend decided that he wanted to return home rather than stay in England. We could have had a long distance relationship or I could have convinced him to stay but I rejected the university place and went to live with him 3,000 miles away.

    My mother cried and I think it was one of her biggest disappointments in life but for me it was a good decision - 20 years later that boyfriend is now my beloved husband.

  2. Honestly, the craziest and most life-changing thing I've ever done for love is to dive into the life I have now.

    My husband and I had very secure, stable jobs at Wake Forest University. He had been in college financial aid for a decade.

    Long story short... he asked me to sell the big house, quit our jobs, put half our stuff in storage and move to a foreign land (south Florida, that is!) so that he could pursue his dream of being a professional pilot.

    I was scared to death, but we made the leap. We now live in a tiny house, hundreds of miles from our families, with plenty of flight school debt. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I love our new life, and I love my husband. Plus, he looks great in a pilot's uniform!

    Laura Hartness
    The Calico Critic
    CalicoCritic at gmail dot com

  3. Oh boy, I can tell this is going to be a great event. The two entries above have happy endings to their crazy-for-love stories. Can't wait for more!

  4. I don't think I've done anything exceptionally crazy, so I'll just share the story of my wedding. We decided to elope, so we went to the ocean to check out how to go about getting married there. We arranged everything and went back a month later for the ceremony. The pastor was going to set up someone to be our witnesses, but they were unavailable at the last minute. Instead, we found an older couple on the beach and asked them if they would stand up for us. I'm sure they thought us a little strange, but they agreed. We all went into town and signed papers, then headed back to the beach for the ceremony. Our audience was a flock of seagulls, which you can see in some of the pictures. Other than those birds, the only ones at the wedding were us, our unknown witnesses, the pastor and a man from her church who came along to take the pictures.

    After the ceremony, we released three balloons with messages inside to send a card to us if they were found. We've never heard from anyone, so I imagine the balloons didn't land where people are -- perhaps in the middle of the ocean or in the high forests inland. Perhaps someday they will be found!

    reading_frenzy at yahoo dot come

  5. I followed love by running away. I caught the first plane I could after work and ran after what I thought was true love, only to find a Dear John note for me at the airport. I disregarded it and went anyway to only be diappointed to find he was gone to meet someone else. I still think about that weekend. It was adventuous but I just guess it wasn't as mutual of a feeling as I wanted it to be. His loss.

    Send my prize to:

    D. Futrell
    6005 Windsong Ct.
    Louisville, KY 40207

  6. I was single and living in Joshua Tree, California, working for the local paper. Dishing with my girlfriends one day, I announced that I was going to get married on July 8. I didn't know what year and I didn't know to whom; I just knew it would be July 8. Heck, I wasn't even dating anyone at the time!

    This was March 1989. The following day (I swear it on my mother's life), my phone rang and it was my ex-boyfriend, the love of my life, whom I hadn't seen for three years!

    He was calling to tell me that he still loved me and to let me know that he was scheduled to deploy from Camp Lejeune, NC, the following November (1990) for a year, and would I wait for him to come back so we could resume our relationship?

    I told him that I was still in love with him, too, but wasn't willing to wait that long. Since we both felt the same way, why not pursue a relationship right now? After some more talking, we decided we would get married so we could establish a life together before he headed overseas.

    He said he had several deployments and Marine Corps exercises scheduled and would call me back with the best dates for the wedding, which would be held at my friend's house in Landers.

    I almost passed out when he called to say that the only chunk of time he had available was the week to 10 days beginning July 6, 1989, a Thursday, and we could get married that Saturday...JULY 8!!

    I planned my wedding fast as lightning and after a two-day "honeymoon" to Laughlin, Nev., we set off for Camp Lejeune, arriving on July 15. I left behind my job, all of my family and friends 3,000 miles away, for someone I hadn't seen for three years!!

    ~Kelly O'Sullivan

  7. The craziest thing I ever did for love was to touch raw meat. It doesn't sound like much, but making that meatloaf was my 1 and only time I actually touched raw meat with my fingers!

  8. This must be prefaced with the FACT that i'm happily married for a goodly time to a man i've loved non-stop most of my life. He has integrity, intelligence, humor, looks, and generosity beside loving me right back to commend him whole heartedly.

    OK, that said--i'm confessing to periodic frenzies of obsessive lusting, and i only hope none of the "objects" of my fervor knew! One was a man i worked with (not my type BUT he had such sexy long hair--clean and shiny like a shampoo commercial, but masculine!) And i would silently sit observing him while he worked, using my own job as cover for my greedy staring--Nutsy.

    Then, there was the tv character who pushed all my whack-o buttons with the actor who portrayed him's deep, reverberating voice and the writers' impassioned words. i even wore an article of jewelry that he wore in the program, in lust with a fictional representation. Finally, i sat beside a man (older) at a bar for a mere half hour once exchanging few words but his hands stay with me. They were incredibly long, pale and beautiful as if sculpted of marble. His silver hair added to the impression. The fires may burn down, but i don't think i'll forget the lovely floaty feelings that just thinking about them recalls for me.

    Certifiable, perhaps, but i like to think a crush is a crush is a crush. And love is many things but purely powerful. Even the lusting can be powerfully pure. And i know how lucky i am to have arms i truly seek around me each night, unbothered by my 'other' passions.

  9. Oops the Anon. crushee above:

  10. Even though I consider myself a hopeless romantic with a jealous bone or two, I can't say I have ever had my heart broken. I was always the one who ended a relationship, hopefully with sensitivity. I'm sure I did something in the name of love, but nothing comes to mind right now, unless you count peeling potatoes which I hate to do.

    I met my last love the third week in August -- engaged six weeks later -- and married three months after that in January. We just celebrated our 31st anniversary. When it's right, you just know it.

    kimbaldwin74 at yahoo dot com

  11. This is just getting better and better! Perhaps fewer readers brave enough to bare their souls, but who cares when the entries are this much fun.

  12. The craziest thing I ever did for love was to leave. Not permanently, but long enough. My now husband pushed me to study abroad (and finish my BA in French while there)and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. By this time we had been together for 5.5 years and had never been so far apart or for such a long span of time.

    At his behest I went to France for 4 months and while apart we celebrated both our birthdays, our 6th anniversary, and Thanksgiving. I traveled all over Europe with new friends I met while living in a home-stay. He stayed back home, working and tending to our home and bills. It was extremely difficult for us because we had gone from living with our parents to living together. Neither of us had ever been out on our own, but we learned quickly and stayed steady.

    This time period, while painful and hard, was the best thing we ever did as a couple because it proved to us both that we could manage without the other. That feeling of independence was fabulous, but we found that we work much better as a team.

    Now, 3.5 years later, we are still going strong. We were married 2 years after I got back and are going to celebrate our 10th dating anniversary this Fall.

  13. Oh and my information is:
    Laura R.
    tattooedbooks AT gmail DOT com

  14. The most life-changing thing I've ever done for love is to quit drinking and join AA. When my husband came to me and said he was thinking of leaving me because he could no longer live with an alcoholic I was devastated. He said "We used to be so in love, but I just can't do this anymore." I haven't had a drink since that day almost 2 years ago. Love and life has been a challenge but I think we're going to be okay. If he chooses a different life in the future I have the gift of sobriety that he guided me toward and I know that I will be okay.

  15. I married my husband after knowing him for six months because we were both in the Army and got deployment orders to Iraq. The Army's unnofficial policy is there is no such thing as a fiance or girlfriend and if they wanted you to have a spouse they would have issued you one. We didn't want to risk going to war and being without eachother for a year.

    On Thanksgiving day 2002 we drove down to the county clerk's office of Clarksville, TN and got married. We deployed in Feb of 2003. Even with being married I can count on one hand the number of times we were allowed to see each other over there for that entire year but it would have been 0 had we not been married. I'm glad I followed my heart. We celebrated our 7th anniversary a few months ago.

  16. I know I am young ( being 22 and all) but I have had my share of love and losses. The craziest thing I ever did for love was with my ex Logan. We were best friends and had been dating since middle school. We had moved into a studio in a shack on an apartment complex. I had given everything to him including the one thing a girl can't ever get back. He had even proposed to me, and I was in seventh heaven. But then I began to look at our lives. I was attending culinary school come fall. And I knew he wanted to go to veterinary school but couldn't afford our current accomodations and tuition. ( He was interning at the time for very little pay)He told me it didn't matter and that he would just go to community college. He said as long as I was able to pursue my dreams he would find a way to reach his. Then I knew I loved him more than anything in the world. However; I had to let him go. I know he loved me, but I could see his pain in his eyes whenever I mentioned his dreams. I couldn't bear to tear him away from his true love of animals because I was so selfish. To this day I miss him, and yes he was quite upset with me. (Yet now he's a veterinarian and happily not struggling in life.) I gave up my first love for his own good and I have to say it's the craziest thing I've ever done for love!


  17. The craziest thing I did for love was to get married. In a world where divorce rates are huge and we all have friends and relatives whose marriages have failed, getting married is a huge and crazy risk.
    Men and women are Mars and Venus, chalk and cheese, cat and dog, and sometimes I'm not so sure that human beings suit monogamous relationship, so why on earth do we take such a huge risk?! Just look at the marriage vows and consider what we are promising when we say thse vows. We're committing to love that person forever, to be with them through sickness and through health, through the good and bad until death. Woah! When you throw in the loss of loved ones, fertility problems, temptations, misunderstandings, the pressures of work and careers, illness and surgery, self-employment, emigrating...What a recipe for disaster! Marriage is a crazy, mad idea, yet I have no regrets.
    Yes, my marriage has had its rocky patches and after having been together for 17 years and married for nearly 15 years, I still don't understand him completely, but I'm so glad that I took that crazy risk. My husband is my best friend, my soul mate, my business partner, the guy I fancy, the person I shout at when there's no-one else there, the person whose shoulder I cry on. OK, often he's the person that made me cry and marriage is a complete rollercoaster but it's a fantastic adventure and a wonderful journey.
    So, I would definitely say that the craziest thing that I did, and the most fulfilling thing I ever did, was to get married.
    Claire Ridgway

  18. The problem is, I've never been in love to do something totally crazy. At least not romantic love. However, for platonic love . . . I lied for my sister. Lying doesn't sound crazy I know, but there are times when you are supposed to tell, but someone who you love asking you to keep quiet is enough to do the job.

    inbedwithbooks AT yahoo DOT com

  19. The craziest thing I did for love was hitch hike across the country from Eastern Kansas to Phoenix to be with a man I knew for one awesome afternoon of passion.

    It was 1961. He was 35, muscular and gorgeous. I was a 17 year old kid from a farm. I met him one summer day at the hardware store when he was driving through my home town. I did everything but take my clothes off to get his attention. He finally invited me to take a ride with him. We got into his tiny dark green convertible and sped off toward a secluded place in the country where I knew we could be alone. We went swimming and made love, and afterwards he invited me to come visit him in Arizona. Then he dropped me off at the hardware store and sped off into the sunset.

    Four weeks later I ran away from home in the middle of the night and thumbed my love-stricken self all the way to Phoenix. It took 7 days, and I had many rides and many experiences on the way.

    Eventually I made it to Phoenix, found Bob's house, and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so I sat under a tree and waited. After 12 hours I saw his car park in the driveway. He saw me and asked how long I had been there and I told him. He looked at me like I was nuts, and invited me inside.

    Once inside, I could not contain myself any longer. I threw my arms around him and kissed him. He eagerly returned my embrace and we fell onto the bed, I releasing all my pent up love onto him in delerious abandon. We made love for hours, and completely satiated we shared a cigarette, and I lay with my head against his sweaty chest, snuggled in his big arms, smelling his English Leather cologne, and listening to his beating heart. I had never known such ecstacy.

    "I have to tell you something," he said. "I had a boyfriend who I was with for 3 years. We broke up a few months ago, but now we've decided to get back together. He's arriving from Los Angeles tomorrow. I'm sorry. Really sorry."

    I lay still, stunned by this revelation. "But I thought we were going to be together." My eyes started to tear up and my words choked as I said, "Can I still see you?" "No, I don't think that will happen," he said gently but firmly. "You can stay the rest of the night, but you'll have to leave by noon, OK?" "OK," I agreed, happy in the moment to have a few more hours of bliss with this man I loved.

    The next day we said goodbye and I left, knowing I would never see him again. As I was walking away from the house a car drove up and a handsome man about 30 with a shock of blond hair and a tight muscular body got out and knocked on the door. Bob opened the door with a big smile and pulled him into the darkness. This guy was so beautiful that I knew I had no chance of ever competing with him for what I desired most in this world. I turned, devastated, and trudged down the road towards I knew not where.

    I hold this memory in my mind still with a pang after 50 years, and I hope the two of them are still together, safe and happy. I, on the other hand, am still seeking that special someone who might make me feel the way he did; safe, happy, joyous, and fulfilled.

    But I'm older now. Much older... and grayer. I know that life does not give you second chances for TRUE LOVE. It is reserved for the Young, and when we find ourselves ageing, and still alone, there is little, if any, chance of redemption.

  20. After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, lotto, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@OUTLOOK.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem like wining lottery.